• Tina Landeen, LCSW

Rearview Mirror

The saying goes, hindsight’s 20/20. The meaning is that only when we look back at events do we see things clearly. Suddenly, we notice the tone of voice, we remember the pang of uneasiness we had in a situation, the subtleties in moments we ignored. In retrospect, they tend to scream out with complete obviousness.

I find it a fascinating thing to think about. Not because of regret, which is the reason most people look back, but because even in those hard times, I realized things were aligning to bring me to something better. Regret is hardly an emotion that helps anyone. It usually sends people into a good old shame spiral which tends to make situations worse. But when we come out of difficult situations and we learn something about ourselves, where we need to grow, and then we take conscious steps toward that growth, sometimes our new path appears in that 20/20 retrospective.

Looking back on my own rough patches, I am suddenly aware that even in the midst of those trials, I was moving toward things that would lead me to my next bliss, my next happy area. I didn’t see significance in those moments or what I was doing until I was seeing it from the future and it comforted me. It comforts in the way a prayer or belief in a higher power comforts some people. I find myself in trying times with an understanding that it’s all moving the way it needs to, and if I’m patient enough, the haze will lift and it will be in focus.

#regret #newbeginnings #change #choices

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