• Tina Landeen, LCSW

Coping skills and other things therapists try to teach

I’ve been watching inspirational videos lately: Tony Robbins, Kyle Cease, Marie Forleo, commencement speeches, celebrities claiming to have found some profound enlightenment, even some of the occasional Facebook inspirational shares.

I watched so many that even I had to wonder, why am I so into these right now? The answer lies in the small little pit in my stomach. That pit is anxiety. Change has hit epic proportions in my life lately. I’ve been drowning a bit in the feelings of it all.

Enter inspiration. Sometimes when you don’t know how to make your next move, these snippets of wisdom help motivate and keep you moving, or at least keep you going through to another day. It’s a coping skill I’ve developed, and in a world full of bad coping ideas, at least it doesn’t get me into trouble.

Here is a summary of some of the latest hits:

1)Make fear your friend. There is always fear, so fighting it, wishing it was different, putting any energy into anything but acceptance is a waste of time, of energy, and is a sure way to feel stressed.

Make fear your friend. Invite it along for the ride, because here is the thing - fear IS part of the ride.

2) No idea comes fully formed. Fear of not knowing enough, or thinking we have to know everything, often keeps us from moving forward with ideas and choices.

This takes equal parts embracing fear and being cool with the idea of failure. Failure is part of the process. If you’re not failing, you’re not trying.

3) You don’t have to have a passion or a calling. Some people wait for a feeling of existential knowing when an idea comes to them. Is this what I’m meant to do? Is this my life’s purpose?

Waiting to be struck with greatness keeps people from moving forward with anything. Your purpose is to try, not to know.

4) Which brings the last point. Whatever you are, be amazing at it. Maybe you don’t know if it’s what you will be doing forever (you may just get that life purpose thing smacking into you one day), but until then, rock what you are.

The more you embrace, enjoy, and put yourself into what you do, the more the things that are meant for you will come. There’s science behind that, energy and all.

So, see if this coping skill is something that speaks to you next time your “pits” appear and change is rocking your world. It might just help guide you through the rough patches and put you on a path you never expected.

#inspiration #fear #life #copingskills #anxiety #change

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